Tag Archives: Teenagers

As A Young Mother…

To say I’m hopeful is an understand. I’m hopeful that when you’re my age, that seeing my name appear randomly on your phone won’t feel like a burden. I’m hopeful that the thought of hugging me isn’t something that make’s you feel uncomfortable.. I’m hopeful, that when you hear a pear say, “I have the best parents in the world!” that you don’t think of me and scoff at how someone could actually love their parent(s) their much. I’m hopeful that when you grow older, you’ll realize that I tried my best, and that everything I do is with your best interest at heart. I hope that you’ll be patient with me, even if you don’t show it, because I’m still learning too. I hope that you never feel like anything less than the greatest part me, because if it weren’t for you, my life may have never taken direction. I hope that I tell you the right things when you need to hear them, and that you don’t resent me for not knowing how/when to say things. I hope that you’re never ashamed of me, and never take the small things for granted. I’m hopeful that you appreciate experiencing things for the first tine, together, as much as I know I will; like Disneyland or maybe a cruise, the possibilities of where I hope we’ll go are endless. I hope that I can push you to do better than I have, that you actually give a damn about school and get good grades. I hope that I never crush any of your dreams and only push you closer to your aspirations. I’m hopeful that your wildest dreams are greater than my imagination, and that you let me do everything in my power to help you achieve them. I’m also hopeful, that you’ll never use my own words against me. But in the end, I’m just hopeful that you wind up happy and that your health is never anything short of spectacular.



P.S. I claim no rights to the photo below.


Apparently, I’m a trending topic!

No, I’m not talking about social media. I’m trending in small towns that surround the city I live in. Last spring, I was a “big tittied slut” in the words of girls who had never met me. Why? Because I had agreed to go to prom with a guy from their school, as a friend, who’s never had the best reputation until recently. I laughed, shrugged it off, said “coming from girls who can’t name a single man I’ve slept with, just shows ignorance.” I ended up not going to said prom, but not for that reason. In fact, the reason I didn’t go is quite complicated, but long story short? He wasn’t allowed to go.

Now, there’s rumors spreading in a town half hour away from me. These one’s saying I’m sleeping with a friend of mine that lives there, doing coke, and snorting pills. When I heard them, I told my friend, and we both laughed. There is absolutely no chemistry between the two of, and I’m not a “druggie.” But, I told the girl who told me, that if they wanna talk, “tell them I think I’m pregnant with his baby too.” I know pregnancy is a very serious thing, but if talking about me makes them feel slightly less miserable, let them.

Why? Because I know me, my friends know me, and my family knows me. I couldn’t care less what girls in small towns outside of my own are saying, or even thinking¬†about me; in fact, I don’t care what the people in my own town say as long as I know the truth. To be successful in life, originality is key. Anybody can make copies of what they already have! I create my own happiness, and nobody is going to stop me. Rumors are words, spread by small minded people, who are trying to compensate for something they feel like they’re lacking.¬†729283bebe47abb10d6930cfcfefbee6 000000000-Rumors-Newspapers

My first real love

You have no idea what you did to me. The way you told me I was beautiful when my hair was a mess and my makeup was running. The way you looked at me with your sinful but loving eyes, especially as I self-consciously walked to your bedroom mirror naked, told me everything I needed to know. It told me that you loved me, how beautiful and precious you thought I truly was. It’s no wonder I gave my virginity to you. You were my best guy friend before dating me for the second time, the time that wasn’t just a crush, curiosity, and a sprinkle of lust thrown together. You were the man who I knew I could always trust. The man who broke my heart and changed me. I was never the most confident, I relied on others to make me feel even a little bit pretty. After you, relationships aren’t the same; you taught me what every other guy has failed to do… You taught me that I’m beautiful. You also taught me how independent I can be, and when I’m done being independent I’ll know the meaning of love. Young love? Yes. However, you were the only person who could deal with me no matter how I was feeling, the man who stopped the world from spinning as I was falling off of its tracks. You’re the main reason I stopped cutting myself, I slipped up on it once which shortly after tore down my inner walls again. I wasn’t crying out of pain, I was crying knowing that I broke my promise to you even though you broke your promise to me. You promised that we could still be friends; in reality, I’ve heard from you so little that I still have the jacket you let me wear in the pouring rain, the one you also wore the first night you asked me out. I wish you could see how different I’ve become, maybe if you did see you’d realize what you’ve done. I say I’m over you, I know that I don’t need you, but a part of my heart is forever yours and if one day it grows then I hope you’ll be there to catch me. I won’t tie myself down to the past, if you’re meant for my future then you’ll be there. I believe in fate, maybe one day I’ll meet someone better.

So many times love is one sided, while one grows the other washes away.

So many times love is one sided, while one grows the other washes away.