Tag Archives: rant

Because of you..

Because of you, my child has to grow up not only being a minority, but being a minority with baggage. Because of you, I don’t know if I’m the victim of rape, because I never liked you like that, but you were my friend; and you’d never do that, right? You’re in jail, because of you. Sure, she might have lied, but it was your door that she walked through.. Because of you, my child’s never known her father, and because of you I hope she never needs to. Because of you I often forget that she was created by more than just me, because it’s been just me from day one.. Because of You.
Because of you, she’s not an only child, and I don’t know the things they’ll discuss. Because of you, I don’t know how you’ll be portrayed to her, but it won’t be as a father. Because of you, there’s going to be a stigma that follows All of us. Because people ask questions that I don’t know the answers to.. Because of you, there’s an empty space on my child’s birth certificate, and a void I hope we’ll someday fill. Because of you, I wonder how Prince Charming became another devil in disguise, so quickly.

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Apparently, I’m a trending topic!

No, I’m not talking about social media. I’m trending in small towns that surround the city I live in. Last spring, I was a “big tittied slut” in the words of girls who had never met me. Why? Because I had agreed to go to prom with a guy from their school, as a friend, who’s never had the best reputation until recently. I laughed, shrugged it off, said “coming from girls who can’t name a single man I’ve slept with, just shows ignorance.” I ended up not going to said prom, but not for that reason. In fact, the reason I didn’t go is quite complicated, but long story short? He wasn’t allowed to go.

Now, there’s rumors spreading in a town half hour away from me. These one’s saying I’m sleeping with a friend of mine that lives there, doing coke, and snorting pills. When I heard them, I told my friend, and we both laughed. There is absolutely no chemistry between the two of, and I’m not a “druggie.” But, I told the girl who told me, that if they wanna talk, “tell them I think I’m pregnant with his baby too.” I know pregnancy is a very serious thing, but if talking about me makes them feel slightly less miserable, let them.

Why? Because I know me, my friends know me, and my family knows me. I couldn’t care less what girls in small towns outside of my own are saying, or even thinking¬†about me; in fact, I don’t care what the people in my own town say as long as I know the truth. To be successful in life, originality is key. Anybody can make copies of what they already have! I create my own happiness, and nobody is going to stop me. Rumors are words, spread by small minded people, who are trying to compensate for something they feel like they’re lacking.¬†729283bebe47abb10d6930cfcfefbee6 000000000-Rumors-Newspapers

Your logic… Do you even have any?

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For the last two years my joints have caused me immense amounts of pain. My back and knees are the worst. Furthermore, when I was working out (class, things I Should be able to do) the pain grew to the point to where I was cringing by the time night rolled around. However, I rarely complained to you because “oh, it’s nothing.. You’re fine” umm… Hell no I’m not! Not to mention that I trip myself because my knees randomly lock; for example, we were jumping on blocks during weightlifting and of course my knee gets stiff in the middle of jump leaving me on the floor with a glistening new, dark purply, bruise (not to mention Very swollen) from near my ankle and another stopping just below my knee. How embarrassing, right? At this point, I’m not curious what’s wrong with my body, I NEED to know. In contrast, you complain about your sore body all day to me, it NEVER stops. But god forbid that I got it from you, “oh, it only happens in people over 40” which is straight up bull shit; In fact, although that’s when it’s most common it’s not impossible. Do you research, seriously. Because I’ve been reading about these things for over a year now.

Sigh, I guess I’ll have to go to the doctor in college with my spare change and hope I didn’t choose a career in which it will be a problem. Or even worse, find out that it’s too late to stop the pain.

 

picture: taken i’m guessing the night after, when it was still a bit swollen. In person the colors were much more vivid and it was insanely shiny but in a scraped kind of way (it was rough and still visible for about month)