It seems like summer brings many people looking for love. I sometimes wish I didn’t have such a hard time facing it. There’s who love it and those who once did. I fall into the “once did… And hates to admit, once will again” category. There’s so many amazing men in my life, but who’s mr. right? Will I accidently choose mr. wrong? There stand before me a few insanely great men. H.C. Who’s the oldest, very smart and incredibly sweet. He always tries to make sure I’m happy and honestly, I tell him nearly everything. When he even begins to think he mest up he makes sure to apologize… Even if it was nothing at all. C.T. Love at first sight, three years ago. He’s a guy I know I can trust and get an honedt opinion from, we never amounted to anything but suddenly a spark came back. When we met I instantley felt I wanted to marry him and that’s never happened with any other guy. He’s sweet but not afraid to tell me that I’m sexy too, he has a way with words and is very open towards me. Did I mention he gives amazing massages? L.J. An ex, actually. He too is super sweet, as in.. He used to write poetry for me and we still are our complete selves with eachother. He’s far from shy and the way he hugs me makes me feel sincerely loved. All of these guys are so amazing; however, there is one more… A.D. he talks about how great our future could be and is almost as sweet as the others… Yet, I know him the least. All of these guys amaze me, and yet, I can’t seem to choose. Luckily, I’ve never had sex with any of them.
I started this blog out of heartbreak. Out of “who can I tell?” And the fact that some of you can relate to my posts makes me realize that maybe I’m not so alone. My first post was about still being in love and not being able to admit it.. Not entirely sure what all I said, but the man I loved is honestly someone I respect more than most other guys.
You know that “oh-my-god, I dated THAT?” feeling we’ve all had at some point or another? I don’t feel that way towards him, I only have positive things to say about him and maybe it’s just a part of growing up. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s that he made one error and actually apologized. It’s insane what saying “I’m sorry, and this is why…” Can do for a person.
Anyways, just a quick post for tonight 🙂
One last thing… If you’re reading this, I sort of love you because you’re taking time out of your day to do so.
Suddenly, you’re not loved because of your look; instead, you’re loved for who you actually are. No more pressure to be perfect. Fairy tales teach us we can kiss a frog and make a prince, but society? Teaches us we all must look perfect, each and every day. I feel as if most guys who talk to me really just want one thing… Sex. Personally, I love my looks but sometimes wish so much that others didn’t think I was as pretty as I do.
He watches me, my every move.
He sees my every sin,
watching every lie from my entire life.
Who is he? And where?
he’s a figment I created.
an image in my mind.
He loves me,
he cries as I die.
yet, somehow, also has arms open wide.
yet, as I lay here breathing what could be my last breaths,
he looks at me,
he has no eyes.
screams at me,
but makes no noise.
That you threw away my love, my everything… Like it was nothing. But her? She makes things hard on you, but you can’t seem to give her up… I know you care(d) about me, but was your love a lie?
I hate boys obsessing over me, I want the guys who are attracted to me but don’t pay much attention to me.. Why? It makes me obsess over them.
But one of the assignments is a life story… I don’t think I could handle letting the teacher know the hell I’ve been through. I wouldn’t want her “confirming” things with my parents who’ve forgotten them. I think I’ll just want til college. if I removed the “depression” stages it wouldn’t be my life. Simple as that.