I’ve become my own worst nightmare, and that’s just part of growing up.

pills_2348412b anxiety-panic-disorders-worry-concern-stress cocaine I don’t know why I do these things, the ones I’ve feared my whole life and looked down upon other people for doing. The things that make you question your decisions, every last one of them. Dear little Angel on my shoulder, where are you when your brother smiles at me? Why do you only show up when the decisions have already been made..? Or are you there.. but my stubborn souls to blind to see you? Why is “the enemy” my new savior?

It amazes me, how an innocent mind perceives “wild” just to become it a few years later. No, not gone; the way it once seen meth. The drug who’s stollen so many souls, and will always remain out my mental grasp of understanding. Wild, never heartless, but how can someone I was be so close but so far gone? Why aren’t drugs so bad anymore? I mean, blow, although still new, and her touch, her touch blows my mind. Not for the indescribable energy, which truly is an invention of its own.. but because of how new of a person it makes me. Bringing out a new type of hunger that’s almost unforgivable in me.

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