Sometimes I get this “fever”

It’s insane, I want a baby. I know I’m being unrealistic, I know it wouldn’t be easy. Maybe that’s why I want one, I need challenge. However, I’m a teenager, I know it’d be a bad idea. My dreams of college? Most likely gone. Unless I did most of it online. I have friends but I don’t see them a whole lot like I used to, my child would be my life and I’d be fine with that. I quit smoking because I want to get in shape… Quitting wasn’t hard, I was never addicted. Getting in shape is a different story. I also know that I’d have to get a job, which I already plan on, but the money would hardly be mine. I want to live my life but it seems so far away. in all honesty, i’m hoping to be on birth control (the kind they put in your arm and lasts 3 years) just so I can have college and let go of my baby desires. Maybe I want one because I want love. I’m not in a relationship, I choose not to be in one. My family is pretty broken, not like we were but we’re far from close. My child would be my love. However, raising a child with no father would be selfish and not something I’d want to do.Image

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